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Good News Week

Climate change the channel (Good News Week 28/7/08: What’s the Story)

The government is launching a new advertising campaign to promote awareness of their Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. Of course like all government advertising, the ads are 100% content-free.

The Government has just launched its new emissions-trading information campaign. It’s a picture of a tree with the words “Emissions Trading Is Good”.

Clearly the government has no plans to cut their emissions.

To avoid being hypocritical, the ads themselves are renewable, constructed from 100% hot air and blustery wind.

The advertising will be made using only renewable power sources, and will therefore consist of a blank screen. Pretty illustrative of our carbon-free future though.

An informational advertising campaign? Sorry, is there an election on?

The Government has just launched its new emissions-trading information campaign to educate the vast number of Australians who really don’t know what it is. We would’ve made some very clever jokes about it, but we really don’t know what it is.

Look, we don’t need an information campaign – it’s really very simple. Businesses who pollute… carbon have to buy… permits, which they can then sell for… coal, I think. And then the world’s saved!

The government is launching a new advertising campaign to promote awareness of their Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. The sooner the public understands the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme, the sooner we can all start Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheming. And that’s gotta be good.

The government will spend millions of dollars telling us why emissions trading is going to be so expensive. It’s mostly the advertising.

And if we don’t get it this time, they’re going to have to launch another advertising campaign. No wonder it’s so expensive.

The best thing is, just by broadcasting the ad your telly can feel a warm inner glow.

We haven’t seen the advertising campaign yet, but I’m pretty sure the ad will inform us that smiling Australians of all ages and races want to save the dolphins and so therefore like wind farms and solar panels watched over by farmers with akubras wiping away a bead of sweat and our children will dance in the sunset. A bargain at just 22 million bucks! / And then we’ll all be properly informed!

Maybe they can have a nice informative campaign like that one that told us WorkChoices was about sticking blackboards among baskets of fruit. You’ve got to admit that was a bargain at just 60 million dollars. / that was 60 million dollars well spent.

The government is launching a new advertising campaign to promote awareness of their Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. They’re promoting awareness of the scheme, rather than explaining exactly what it is and how it works, because they have absolutely no idea.

The ads come as surveys show that a strong majority of people support an emissions trading scheme even though they don’t understand what one is. Surely the last thing the government wants to do is inform them – they might decide they don’t like it after all.

The ads come as surveys show that a strong majority of people support an emissions trading scheme even though they don’t understand what one is. Just like the Government. / After all, Rudd’s got no idea either.

Kevin Rudd is said to be keen to see the ad campaign, so he can figure out how the bloody scheme works.

It turns out that the vast majority of Australians want an emissions-trading scheme, even though they don’t know what it is. After 11 years of Howard, we’re just happy to have anything, really. / we’re just happy the government finally believes in climate change.

Although most of us don’t know how an emissions trading scheme will work, polls show we still support having one. We’re not necessarily so keen on funding advertising about it though – we already support it, just get on and do it! Whatever it is.

It turns out that the vast majority of Australians want an emissions-trading scheme, even though they don’t know what it is. And the vast majority of Australians would like to see Brendan Nelson kicked in the balls, even though they’re not sure he has any.

It turns out that the vast majority of Australians want an emissions-trading scheme, even though they don’t know what it is. 50% believe emissions-trading is a scheme where businesses who reduce pollutants are financially rewarded, 34% believe emissions-trading is a scheme where businesses swap their pollutants for other less-harmful chemicals, and 16% think emissions-trading is a modern version of “soggy biscuit”.

Why not forget the advertising campaign and just spend the money to pay off Andrew Bolt? / prove Andrew Bolt is a loony?

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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